Mad Men, Season 4, Episode 2: “You’re the kind of man who doesn’t want to take the test.”

Alan Sepinwall

I cringed mightily watching Don pull Allison to her, and then seeing her reciprocate. As I've talked about before, being Don Draper's secretary is not easy. Peggy was okay but mostly distracted by personal issues (she's a better protege than Gal Friday), Joan great but temporary, Lois a disaster, and Jane more interested in finding a Sterling Cooper partner to sleep with. We've seen with Allison - and were reminded early in this episode with Sally's letter to Santa - that she's that rare creature who can meet Don's professional needs, understand his moods and perform her demanding job with a minimum of drama (though she does understandably get choked up at the postscript to Sally's letter). Allison is probably the most functional relationship Don has in his life right now (Peggy still is a target for abuse, after all), so when Don pulled her towards the couch, I all but begged them to stop before he screwed it up.

But bad as I expected things to go, I never expected anything quite as horrible as Don's behavior the next morning, when he shocks Allison with how much their encounter didn't happen, as far as he was concerned, then hands her the envelope with her holiday bonus. Dick Whitman, who grew up with the nickname "whore-son," is so fixated on keeping his personal life walled off from his professional life that he makes Allison feel like his whore. He doesn't close the door and apologetically suggest their night together was nice but a bad idea in hindsight; he just acts like it never happened and gives her a hundred bucks, cash. And unlike some other incidents where we see that Don's weird pathology allows him to forget about the thing that he wants to erase - see, for instance, his initial confusion when Peggy asks him to repay her for the bail money from the car crash with Bobbie Barrett - his expression after a humiliated Allison leaves his office makes it abundantly clear that Don knew exactly what he was doing and feels guilty about it. Just not guilty enough to have stopped himself.

This is among the lowest things we've ever see Don do, down there with ordering Adam out of his life and saying "you people" to Sal. We understand by now Don's need to push people away at all costs, and in hindsight it's not surprising that he would treat Allison in a way that ensures she would never, ever approach him that way again, nor tell anyone else about an encounter that ultimately mortified her so. That doesn't make it any easier to watch, though, and it's a credit to Matthew Weiner (here writing the script with Tracy McMillan) and Jon Hamm that they'll take the character there, and to Alexa Allemanni's acting that we'd feel so badly for such a minor character.

Tim Goodman

Now, instead of a lonely, disillusioned kid, Glen is more aggressively odd kid. He sees Sally at a Christmas tree farm, dumps a bunch of cold, hard facts on her about divorced parents, then says he'll call her (which he does, twice, before ransacking her place with another young accomplice). Only Freud can delve into that one, but there seemed to be a lot of misplaced sexual aggression. And the same might be said - with a lot more grown-up themes like dominance - about Lee Garner Jr.'s return to Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. He did more than just flaunt his power at the office Christmas party. He turned cruel and sadistic. (Sal, you're better off wherever you are.)

"It all comes down to what I want versus what's expected of me," cites Dr. Faye Miller, the smart, beautiful researcher who understands the psychology of demographics. Don didn't really buy her psycho babble, but agreed after that line that she was right. And she certainly nailed Don in one sentence. He's always battled what he wants and what's expected of him. He can't seem to find happiness. Or, more importantly, love.

S.T. Vanarisdale

At least Peggy has some dignity. Or whatever it is you call her shielding her sexual history from handsy boyfriend Mark, whose efforts to relive Peggy of her “virginity” bear rather smug, revolting fruit later in the episode. Her nooners with Duck Phillips were so much more rewarding, interruptions via presidential assassination notwithstanding.

Her professional tangles with Freddy, meanwhile, have their own implications. They’re fairly on-the-nose, stock Mad Men gender politics — Freddy wants an aging female star for the Pond’s campaign, Peggy wants to skew the demographics younger, Freddy stereotypes (“You might get married!”), Peggy stereotypes back (“You and your old typewriters and your desperate spinsters!”) — but their resolution suggests Peggy is indeed the superior politician. That’s quite the rebound from last week, when her creative wiles gave us the infamous Sugarberry Ham Brawl of 1964.

And it’s definitely a step ahead of virtually everyone else in the office. There was no more glaring evidence than the Christmas party — I mean, did you see Lee Garner Jr. whip Roger into playing Santa Claus? Or Lane’s desperate trawl for approval when giving Lee his gift Polaroid? Or the emasculated husbands in a circle, supplemented by Don, whose plunging creds have already been established? It’s true that Joan, with Peking House on speed-dial and her fierce conga-line leadership, wields the more redoubtable authority. But in her cagey, modulated (and sure, occasionally false-modest) way, Peggy slashes through one Y-chromosome after another in her march through the Testosterone River Delta.

Keith Phipps

Mad Men doesn’t use songs accidentally and it especially doesn’t end episodes with carelessly chosen songs. It’s always puzzled me that “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” became a holiday standard. That doesn’t mean it’s not a great song. But, unlike most Christmas songs, it’s not a song for kids. In fact, it’s a song that essentially mocks kids for believing in Santa. There are probably ways to explain its lyrics to children who still believe in Santa, but they involve piling a lie on top of another lie.

A songwriter named Tommie Conner—who penned several other Christmas songs and something called “Never Do A Tango With An Eskimo”—wrote it in 1952 and a kid named Jimmy Boyd, who went on to enjoy a fairly long career in show business, recorded it that same year. It was a hit again years later for the Jackson 5, as fronted by a young Michael Jackson. But there’s another tradition of versions by grown-ups, like the sexy Ronettes version on Phil Spector’s Christmas album and the one that closes out this week’s episode. I’m not sure who’s singing the version here—maybe country singer Molly Bee—but like most versions performed by adults, it takes on a different meaning in a grown-up voice. Listening to it requires buying into the illusion of an adult singing from a child’s perspective while still recognizing that it’s not a child singing at all. It means believing an illusion and recognizing the truth at the same time.

That double consciousness must be familiar to ad execs, who have to create a fantasy to sell a product and, to some degree at least, believe that fantasy for it to work. It’s a state of mind that creeps into private lives as well.

Me

• Roger Sterling has fantastic taste in dresses.
• A bit of a reversal for Roger: after goading Joan into wearing the red dress that "makes (Joan) look like a present," he is forced by Lee Garner, Jr. to put on the red Santa Claus suit. Given what we know about the characters, it is safe to assume that there was a sexual overtone to both events, but whereas with Roger it seems playful, Lee comes off as a sadistic creep. behold the power of tone.
• Harry Crane doesn't want anybody cheating off of his personality test. Also, he LOVES cookies.
• Freddy Rumsen is back! Let the zipper chorus commence its 1964 season. Is it too much to hope for a rendition of "A Hard Day's Night?" Of course, this being Mad Men, the first thing anyone does is to offer him a drink.
• Lee Garner, Jr. is the human manifestation of the perils of having all your eggs in one basket.
• Betty might want to have "the talk" with Sally. If she doesn't, the burden of explanation is likely to be shouldered by Glen.
• The next five years are going to hit Bert Cooper like a freight train.
• I cannot wait for Sally Draper's inevitable hippie rebellion (good band name).
• "Did you enjoy the Fuhrer's birthday?" "May he live for a thousand years!"
• "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
• More Joan, please.

Mad Men, Season 4, Episode 1: "John! Marsha!"

First the real critics, then a few tangentially connected thoughts, observations, and questions from me.

Alan Sepinwall

A lot of TV series do status quo-altering season finales, then take a handful of episodes at the start of the next year to reset things to the default, and “Mad Men” could have very easily done that here. Betty has already taken Don back once and could do it again, and while the new firm lacks Kinsey and Sal and some others, enough of the familiar faces have relocated there that it could easily become, as Weiner puts it in our interview, “Sterling Cooper in a new office.”

But even though Don expertly throws Henry’s words back at him by telling him, “Believe me, Henry, everybody believes this is temporary,” it’s clear that the end of the Draper marriage, and the professional changes going on at the new firm, are permanent. “Public Relations” signals a show that’s looking forward, not back.

Tim Goodman

It could be that Don having to be so out front at the new firm - more public, less the corner office creative genius than the entire face of the company, makes him so uncomfortable he's off his game. Bert and Roger, who have been through the tough times themselves, make it very clear to Don that the Advertising Age interview was a disaster. You're the face of the company, Don. You're in the spotlight. So start dancing. And keep smiling. This, of course, is not what he's cut out for. But it's just another big change for Don. He's dealing with Betty, who's being vindictive and cold, and still living in the house they shared (which is bugging Henry, too). Work life and personal life not going great? Faux perfection that you mastermined (sic) all gone to hell? Then what does it all mean? Who are you and what are you? (Oh, and by the way, the world is shifting under your feet, incrementally...) Yeah, Don's adrift. But it's nothing some cash and a few slaps can't temporarily fix. Dark days ahead? Oh, you bet.

What also stood out is the level of Betty's bitterness, meanness and unhappiness. Now, everybody's known that was present. But in the past, Don was the easy answer to explain it all away. Now that Betty has her Dream Marriage version 2.0, what do we see? That she's a cold, perhaps unloving mother. That in under a year she's got Henry wondering what the hell he got into. But as interesting as some of that will be going forward, the bigger story here is what creator Matthew Weiner will do with Betty. She's in danger of being one-dimensionally irrelevant. Either that's a bold creative decision, or the writers need to give her something different (like Don's face-slapping, but, yes, different). She needs to either be redeemed in some small way, or her inherently unlikable nature needs to maximized in some monstrous way.

Keith Phipps

Peggy’s the person who’s changed most notably over the last year. I’m not sure which came first: the new hairstyle or the added confidence, but both are hard to miss. She drinks at work like the boys and, when asked to come up with a tagline, goes into a Don-like trance as she searches for inspiration. She bosses Joey around and tells him when he’s gone too far. And she’s not afraid to get creative to sell ham and wants credit for her idea, even if it encounters a minor disaster along the way. Most significantly, she’s standing up to Don at every turn now. He bullies her in front of her “fiancé” but hears about it later. And she provides a devastating mixture of admiration and chiding when she reminds Don that everyone at SCDP is there because of him and out of a desire to make him happy. It cuts enough that he leaves her out of the meeting, but I don’t think Peggy and Don are done sorting out the new boundaries of their relationship.

That’s a problem Don has on the homefront, too. Betty has a new life, but it’s still tangled up with his. The issue of her not leaving the house is more than a matter of convenience or wanting the best for the kids, no matter how much she protests. Despite her marriage to Henry, she’s still defining herself in relation to Don, even if now she’s mostly acting to spite him.

Stray comments from me

The 11 month jump forward to November of 1964 seems to signal the scuttling of creator Matthew Weiner's previously stated intention to do Mad Men as a 5 season show that ended in 1970.

Will we ever see Paul or Kent again? What about Sal?

Not enough Joan.

Roger Sterling continues to get all the best lines. Stunningly, his mid-life crisis marriage appears to be the most stable romantic relationship in the Mad Men universe. What were the odds on that? He's also very familiar with his client's swimsuit catalog.

Don bombed the last pitch on purpose, right?

Two Days To Go!!!

Get excited.

World Cup Final Preview

So it's finally here: the final match of the 2010 FIFA World Cup! In honor of this momentous occasion, I'm going to spare you my ramblings and instead direct you over to the best site on the internet for tactical soccer analysis, zonalmarking.net. I am pasting their preview, but you really should check out the site itself.

...Before the tournament started, if we had asked a large sample of fans what their ideal final would be to guarantee an exciting game, Holland v Spain would surely have been the most popular answer, considering Brazil’s apparent negativity and the highly-structured Argentina side Diego Maradona looked set to field. But then, by their standards, neither Holland nor Spain have played particularly attractive football so far.

Dutch pragmatism

Holland have reached their first World Cup final since the the 1970s, when they won the hearts of many football fans across the globe for their exciting, revolutionary ‘Total Football’ system. There has been much discussion about the nature of Bert van Marwijk’s current Dutch side – it certainly isn’t Total Football, but is it even typically Dutch?Raphael Honigstein wrote an interesting piece before their semi-final with Uruguay on this subject, concluding, “It’s high time the old stereotypes were ditched, regardless of the result. Dutch football itself already did it a while back. Maybe the rest of the world should follow suit.”

Even accepting Honigstein’s theory that Holland are “no more defensive than 30 years ago”, it is interesting that, for a country so rooted in the concept of individualism, they have reached the final with few top-class performances from their star players. Wesley Sneijder is the one man who is being talked about in ‘Team of the Tournament’ terms, but his goal tally, his main achievement in the tournament, has been inflated by three rather fortunate goals. He and Robben have provided a couple of good moments, but nothing like the dominant performances they showed when guiding their sides to domestic doubles and the Champions League final last season. Holland have been successful in 2010 because they’ve worked well as a unit.

Spain ‘using the Barcelona formula’

With this debate about the nature of the Holland team, it’s perfect that they come up against a Spain side who arguably display more of a classically ‘Dutch’ attitude towards football. Jonathan Wilson has this week commented that Spain are ‘essentially using the Barcelona formula’ in terms of tactics, and there is a clear crossover with Barcelona in terms of personnel too. When David Villa scored the winner against Paraguay last week, there were 7 Barcelona-owned players on the pitch at the time: Carles Puyol, Gerard Pique, Sergio Busquets, Xavi Hernandez, Andres Iniesta, Pedro Rodriguez and Villa. Another, Cesc Fabregas, has been strongly linked with a move back to the Nou Camp this summer.

But the more fascinating aspect is that seven of those eight (this time including Fabregas but excluding Villa) are players who were brought up as Barcelona players – all of them spent considerable time at La Masia, and the majority made their professional debut for the club.

The Dutch influence on Barcelona cannot be overstated – in its entire history, only four managers have been in charge of the club for more than 150 matches, and all four have been from Holland – Rinus Michels (1971-75 and 1976-78), Johan Cruyff (1988-96), Louis van Gaal (1997-2000) and Frank Rijkaard (2003-08). Nine of their 20 La Liga titles have been won under Dutch management.

Michels is possibly the most important factor to consider here. ‘He was the father of Total Football, and he carried it on at Barcelona’, as Wilson says in Inverting the Pyramid. From him, there is a clear Dutch link to the present day. Cruyff was a Barcelona player under Michels, then when he became manager, brought Rijkaard to the club. The present manager, Pep Guardiola, played under Cruyff, van Gaal, and then managed the Barcelona B team during Rijkaard’s final season, and Guardiola’s influence on Spain’s squad both as a player (Xavi, Iniesta) and as a manager (Pedro, Busquets) has been well-documented....

The final is a simple clash between two great football nations and two historical underachievers, but is also perfect in terms of footballing ideology. The history of Dutch football is a history of underachievement and disappointment. Failure once again on Sunday night would be a failure extraordinary even for the Dutch, because they would be beaten to their first World Cup by a side who have borrowed so much from their way of playing football.

WORLD CUP FINAL PREDICTION

NETHERLANDS 1-2 SPAIN in extra time.

That being said, hup Holland hup! Oranje!

Enjoy the match, and I promise to lay off the soccer for awhile after this.

Moment of Awesome

7/9/10

It's late and I'm tired so just a prediction for tonight. Actual post tomorrow.

Germany 3-1 Uruguay

Bonus prediction: Klose ties Ronaldo's lifetime world cup goals record.

7/5/10WW

World CUpdate

Be Off With You!

Brazil largely beat themselves when they lost their composure after a crtical mistake.

Ghana deserved to advance but was thwarted by the Hand of Satan and poor penalty taking.

Argentina was exposed as an inflexible, bullying fraud.

Paraguay was finally dispatched, saving the world from another 90+ minutes of negative football.

Assessing the Survivors

The Favorite

Germany: Der Mannschaft put on the performance of the tournament in the quarterfinals, steamrolling Argentina 4-0. It was a total team effort, with every man on the pitch contributing to the domination. Owing to a misgiven yellow card by the referee during the Argentina match, they will be without Thomas Muller for their semifinal tilt against Spain. However, with the way they've been playing since their wake-up call against Serbia, they should be expected to absorb his loss and roll into the final.

The Contenders

Netherlands: A combination of luck and skill saw them past self-destructive Brazil and into the semis. They continue to improve from match to match, and if they can continue to play together and sublimate the internal rivalries between teammates who don't particularly like each other, they should find themselves playing for their first ever World Cup championship. After coming so close so many times before, it may finally be their turn.

Spain: La Furia Roja have shown only flashes of the form that saw them crowned champions of Europe only two years ago. Part of this is due to the fact that Fernando Torres is clearly not all the way back from his pre-tournament injury, but it seems that the world has developed a strategy for slowing down the high powered Spanish attack. Team after team has been able to disrupt their rhythm and give them trouble by roughing them up and playing exclusively for counterattacks. That Spain have made it this far is attributable almost entriely to the sterling form displayed by David Villa, the Cup's leading scorer and arguably best player. He will need to remain in form if Spain is to have any hope of advancing past the German juggernaut and into their first ever World Cup final match.

Cinderella

Uruguay: They should not still be in the tournament, but here they are. A favorable draw, a redemptive performance from Diego Forlan, and the emergence of the now-banished luis Suarez have taken La Celeste further than anyone could have reasonably expected, but in all likelihood it ends against the Dutch.

PREDICTIONS

Uruguay 1-3 Netherlands

Germany 3-2 Spain

Moment of Awesome

7/1/10

Topic 1

Happy Birthday, Steven!

The best stepfather a person could ask for.

Topic 2

World CUpdate (See what I did there?)

Be Off With You!

South Korea needed to be as creative in the flow of the game as they were disciplined in set pieces.

U.S.A. was the best team ever to lead for less than 5 min. of total game time for an entire competition.

England was two scores away from having a legitimate complaint.

Mexico got hosed, but rather than using injustice as a rallying point, they chose to fall apart.

Slovakia never had a chance against truly elite competition.

Chile did themselves proud, but they have a long way to go before they will be ready to take down Brazil.

Japan got what they deserved for playing for a shootout rather than a goal.

Portugal learned that it is not enough to just play defense.

Assessing the Survivors

The Favorites

Brazil: The best in the world until somebody beats them. They've won the group of death and made easy work of a very strong and inspired side from Chile. Their upcoming match with Holland is a de facto semifinal.

Argentina: Blessed with a murderer's row of strikers and goalscoring midfielders (Lionel Messi, Gonzalo Higuain, Carlos Tevez, Diego Milito, Maxi Rodriguez, Sergio Aguero, and on and on and on) that makes playing defense seem quaint and almost beside the point. Wild card manager Diego Maradona has yet to take a wrong step, but the young Germans will put him and the rest of La Albiceleste to their strictest test to this point. This should be the match of the tournament.

Germany: This was supposed to be a team struggling to make the transition to a new generation of players, but Die Mannschaft apparently didn't get the memo. The trademark discipline of the old guard has meshed beautifully with the creativity and dynamism of new young stars like Mesut Ozil and Thomas Muller. They embarrassed an overmatched and underwhelming England, and their reward is to face white-hot Argentina. If anyone can break down the frenetic South Americans, it's the well-oiled Prussian machine.

The Contenders

Spain: Fernando Torres has been AWOL, and Iker Casillas has looked uncomfortable at times in goal. Both will need to show up if La Furia Roja are to fulfill their potential and reach the final. As transcendent a striker as David Villa has been, he will need help going forward. Nobody is playing prettier soccer than the Spanish with their impeccable passing game, but style alone will not take them to the promised land. They should handle Paraguay in their next match, but must raise their level of play if they want the cup.

Netherlands: They're undefeated, talented, and seem to be improving by the minute, but Oranje have yet to face a team that can ask questions of them. That willl change when they jump several classes upwards to face Brazil. If they play their best game, they can win; anything less and they'll be heading home.

The Cinderellas

Uruguay: They look good, but have faced suspect competition. It's not their fault that France chose this year to implode, or that the tournament brackets broke in their faovr to a ridiculous degree, but their good fortune doues make it difficult to evaluate them. Luis Suarez and Diego Forlan are a dynamic duo up front, and their defense has been rock solid, conceding only a single goal. Ghana should provide a stiff challenge, but La Celeste should find themselves in the semifinals for the first time since 1970.

Paraguay: Nothing fancy here. Not fun to watch, but undisputably effective, the Paraguayans have made it to the quarterfinals for the first time in their history. Their grinding, punishing, pyhsical style will be a huge contrast with the Spanish. If they can rough up the Spanish midfield enough to disrupt their flow, it is quite possible that La Albirroja can continue their historic run.

Ghana: Too angry at them to comment objectively.

PREDICTIONS

Netherlands 2-2 Brazil, Brazil advances on penalty kicks.

Uruguay 1-0 Ghana

Argentina 2-3 Germany

Paraguay 0-2 Spain

"Moment of Awesome!"

6/25/10

Topic 1

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!

You're finally old enough to ask for a senior citizen ticket without looking at me apologetically.

Topic 2: World Cup

No more in-depth predictions. By the time they're posted, the games have almost begun because of the time zone difference. Predictions will henceforth be limited to scores, with more detailed thoughts being provided on events that have already transpired. Sound good? Good.

Be Off With You! (One sentence appraisals/dismissals of eliminated teams)

South Africa are better hosts than participants, but gave a good account of themselves.

France: Merde.

Greece was the worst team to win a match.

Nigeria had all of the brawn, but none of the brains.

Slovenia did not deserve their limited success.

Algeria forgot that to win, you must occasionally try to score.

Australia played with heart after being flattened by Germany, but could not overcome being flattened.

Serbia lost to the teams it was supposed to beat.

Denmark should have gone further in a weak group.

Cameroon would be the best in the world if they got points for hitting the goalpost.

New Zealand deserved better than three draws.

Italy was the worst defending champion since Oliver McCall (they even had crying in common).

Ivory Coast: the group of death strikes again, with help from a broken arm.

North Korea never had a chance.

Switzerland needs to find a way to score goals on purpose.

Honduras needs to find a way to score goals, period.

Assessing the Survivors

The teams that remain can be divided into four groups. In order of decreasing likelihood of success, they are:

The Two Favorites

Brazil: best team in the world until someone beats them.

Argentina: arguably more talented than Brazil, with the undisputed best player in the world, Lionel Messi.

Championship Contenders

Netherlands: unbeaten, untied, and untested.

Spain: too flashy for their own good?

Germany: too mechanical for their own good?

Portugal: have yet to score against a real team.

Expecting To Advance

Chile: emerged battle-tested from the group of near-death trauma.

Uruguay: undefeated with a favorable bracket, but no longer under the radar.

Paraguay: they're solid but decidedly unspectacular, and their uniforms look like circus tents.

England: the most disappointing team to advance to this stage, they've looked awful against relatively weak competition, and they have the toughest road to the Cup of any side.

USA: the draw lines up for a potential run to the semi-finals, but they will need their quality play to match their effort and heart in order to get there.

Happy To Be Here

Mexico: would be in the above group had they not been slotted against Argentina.

Japan: after being the consensus pick to bottom their group, anything beyond this point is gravy.

South Korea: lethal from set plays, but they don't have the skill to control the flow of a match.

Slovakia: eliminated Italy, but the fun stops now.

Ghana: advanced despite never scoring a goal on anything but a penalty kick, they don't deserve to still be around.

PREDICTIONS

Uruguay 2-0 South Korea

USA 2-1 Ghana

Germany 2-2 England, Germany advances on penalty kicks

Argentina 4-1 Mexico

Netherlands 2-0 Slovakia

Brazil 3-2 Chile

Paraguay 1-1 Japan, Paraguay advances on penalty kicks

Spain 3-1 Portugal

"Moment of Awesome!"

6/24/10

Topic 1: World Cup

Results

Denmark 1-3 Japan

Netherlands 2-1 Cameroon

Netherlands wins Group E, Japan advances

Slovakia 3-2 Italy

Paraguay 0-0 New Zealand

Paraguay wins Group F, Slovakia advances.

ANALYSIS

Group G (The Group of Death)

Brazil (2-0-0, 6 pts, +3 gd) The best in the world until someone proves otherwise.

Portugal (1-1-0, 4 pts, +7 gd) They might prove otherwise, but even if they don't, they will advance to the knockout phase on the strength of their dismantling of North Korea. They are a legitimate threat to win the championship.

Ivory Coast (0-1-1, 1 pt, -2 gd) For the second World Cup in a row, the Elephants have fallen prey to the group of death. There's no shame in a loss to Brazil, and a draw with Portugal is something to be proud of, those two results will compbine to doom Drogba and company unless they can utterly destroy North Korea and get a great deal of help from a big victory by the the Brazilians.

North Korea (0-0-2, 0 pts, -8 gd) Boy, did Kim Jong-Il choose the wrong event for live uncensored broadcast, or what? Neither as good as their inspiring display against Brazil, nor as bad as their punching bag performance against Portugal, the Chollima remain a mystery. One suspects the truth of their quality runs closer to the second result than the first, which is bad news heading towards a showdown with an Ivory Coast side in desperate need of bunches of goals. losing by less than 3 should be looked on as an accomplishment.

Predictions

North Korea 1-4 Ivory Coast

Portugal 0-2 Brazil

Brazil wins Group G, Portugal advances.

Group H

Chile (2-0-0, 6 pts, +2 gd) Chile have played solidly thus far and somehow managed the near-impossible task of scoring on Switzerland. As the only team in the group that completely controls it's own destiny, The Chileans must secure at least a draw with ultratalented Spain to win the group and avoid a likely date with Brazil in the round of 16. a loss puts them potentially out of the tournament.

Spain (1-0-1, 3 pts, +1 gd) Unexpectedly inconsistent, La Furia Roja have played well in stretches, and have played the most aesthetically pleasing soccer in the tournament. They are certainly the most talented team in the group (and arguably the world), but they need to beat a very solid Chilean team to feel comfortable about their chances. The dream scenario for a soccer fan is for them and Brazil to finish in some combination of first and second in their groups, leading to the match of the Cup in the knockout round.

Switzerland (1-0-1, 3 pts, 0 gd) They need to win by multiple goals. The good news: Honduras can't score on them. The bad news: they're no offensive juggernaught themselves.

Honduras (0-0-2, 0 pts, -3 gd) The Hondurans have played to the best of their abilities, but it's clear that they don't have what it takes to compete with the best in the world.

Predictions

Switzerland 2-0 Honduras

Chile 2-3 Spain

Spain wins Group H, Switzerland advances.

"Moment of Awesome!"

6/23/10

Topic 1: World Cup

Results

Slovenia 0-1 England

U.S.A. 1-0 Algeria

U.S.A. wins Group C, England advances.

Ghana 0-1 Germany

Australia 2-1 Serbia

Germany wins Group D, Ghana advances.

ANALYSIS

Group E

Netherlands (2-0-0, 6 pts, +3 gd) The Dutch have already clinched advancement to the knockout round without breaking a sweat, or even playing anywhere near to the best of their ability. They'll have the rough equivalent of a friendly against eliminated Cameroon to work out the kinks. They are a team to watch going forward.

Japan (1-0-1, 3 pts, 0 gd) Not expected to do anything, the Japanese have played with inspiration, and find themselves on the edge of advancement. This is the best Japan has ever looked playing outside their borders.

Denmark (1-0-1, 3 pts, -1 gd) Very simple for the Danes: win or go home. Assuming they play with any sort of offensive ambition, they won't be going home just yet. While not a threat beyond the group, they should find a way to defeat Japan to take the runner-up spot in the group.

Cameroon (0-0-2, 0 pts, -2gd) My favorite team besides the Americans, The Indomitable Lions have proven quite domitable thus far. They have displayed no talent for finishing offensive chances, and do not play well together. The tournament cannot end soon enough for them.

Predictions

Denmark 1-0 Japan

Netherlands 2-1 Cameroon

Netherlands wins Group E, Denmark advances.

Group F

Paraguay (1-1-0, 4 pts, +2 gd)

Italy (0-2-0, 2 pts, 0 gd)

New Zealand (0-2-0, 2 pts, 0 gd)

Slovakia (0-1-1, 1 pt, -2 gd)

This whole group has been sleep-inducing, with the exception of Cinderella New Zealand, who followed a near-miraculous draw against Slovakia with a miraculous draw against the Italians. If they somehow find a way to defeat Paraguay, it would be most surprising advancement that I can remember. New Zealand has virtually no international pedigree on their squad, but have compensated with heart, guile, and opportunism. The end of the road most likely comes tomorrow, but the All Whites have done themselves proud.

Predictions

Slovakia 0-2 Italy

Paraguay 3-0 New Zealand

Paraguay wins Group F, Italy advances.

Topic 2: Gen. McChrystal Fired

It had to be done. As President Obama said today:

"The conduct represented in the recently published article does not meet the standard that should be set by a commanding general. It undermines the civilian control of the military that is at the core of our democratic system."

But beyond that, getting tanked in front of a reporter and talking like that shows a degree of bad judgement that would be frightening in a boss in an office setting, let alone on the battlefield. How can he be trusted to carry out orders as given when he is so openly contemptuous of his superiors?

It's not as if this is his first questionable decision, either. Prior to his promotion, Gen. McChrystal was instrumental in the initial cover-up of the friendly-fire death of Pat Tillman, and he had failed to properly police the treatment of prisoners at Camp Nama. The naked insubordination in that interview was the third strike.

As for his replacement, Gen. David Petraeus has proven himself to be an extraordinarily talented leader. Any semblance of success coming out of Iraq is directly attributable to his excellence in leading the surge and providing a window of opportunity for diplomacy and cooperation to flourish between the warring Iraqi factions. That internecine strife continues to cripple Iraq's government and other institutions is not his fault. Having snatched some tiny shred of victory from the jaws of defeat in one war, let us hope he can make lightning strike twice.

Topic 3: Another Setback

From The Daily Beast:

An accident at the site of the Gulf oil leak forced BP to remove the containment cap from the well after a robot crashed into the venting system, temporarily causing oil to gush into the Gulf once again. Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen said the collision sent gas rising through the system that carries warm water into the cap in order to prevent crystals.

I just want to scream.

Topic 4: How About Some Good News?

From msnbc.com:

Dozens of people who were blinded or otherwise suffered severe eye damage when they were splashed with caustic chemicals had their sight restored with transplants of their own stem cells — a stunning success for the burgeoning cell-therapy field, Italian researchers reported Wednesday.

The treatment worked completely in 82 of 107 eyes and partially in 14 others, with benefits lasting up to a decade so far. One man whose eyes were severely damaged more than 60 years ago now has near-normal vision.

"This is a roaring success," said ophthalmologist Dr. Ivan Schwab of the University of California, Davis, who had no role in the study — the longest and largest of its kind.

Let's end on that note of optimism, shall we?

"Moment of Awesome!"

YES!!!!!!!!!

World Cup Update and Predictions

Full disclosure: I was way too ambitious in my plans to cover the World Cup. Analysis will be significantly less wordy from now on. It just takes too long, and frankly, there are better writers who are giving better insights than I can offer. That being said, I intend to finish what I started, so...

Topic 1: The World Cup

Results

Mexico 0-1 Uruguay

France 1-2 South Africa

Uruguay wins group A, Mexico advances.

Nigeria 2-2 South Korea

Greece 0-2 Argentina

Argentina wins Group B, South Korea advances.

ANALYSIS

Group C

Slovenia (1-1-0, 4 pts, +1 gd) The Slovenians are fortunate to be leading the group heading into a decisive match with pre-tournament favorite England after a referee-assisted tie with the United States. They need only a draw to advance, and with the way they can clamp down on defence combined with a listless and disorganized opponent, a 0-0 result seems quite possible. it would be the upset of the tournament thus far if Slovenia were to advance.

U.S.A. (0-0-2, 2 pts, 0 gd) The United States was robbed of victory by a phantom foul on a set piece that would have netted the winning goal vs. Slovenia, and now must beat Algeria to clinch advancement into the knockout round for the first time since 2002. They have a bad habit of falling behind early, but pick up momentum as the game goes along. If they score first against Algeria, they should go on to victory tomorrow.

England (0-0-2, 2 pts, 0 gd) Along with France and Italy, one of three massively underperforming traditional powers. Wayne Rooney, one of the games premier goal-scorers, has been conspicuously silent on the field, and distressingly verbose off it. If he and the rest of The Three Lions can pull their act together in time to knock off Slovenia and secure advancement, all will be forgiven, at least until their next match. Lose, and Franc-level national shame awaits.

Algeria (0-1-1, 1 pt, -1 gd) Algeria have yet to show anything offensively, but have compensated somewhat for their punchless offense by being extremely pesky on defense. They will need to score tomorrow if they hope to advance, which remains a distinct possibility with a victory.

Predictions

Slovenia 1-3 England

U.S.A. 2-1 Algeria

U.S.A. wins Group C, England advances.

Group D

Ghana (1-1-0, 4 pts, +1 gd) The Black Stars have been the most impressive African team thus far, though that's damning them with faint praise. They have yet to score a goal within the normal flow of the game, finding both of their scores thus far on penalty kicks. They wasted a golden opportunity to all but lock up advancement, drawing with a clearly inferior Australian side which was missing its best player. They now find themselves needing a result against a desperate German team with superior talent at almost every position.

Germany (1-0-1, 3 pts, +3 gd) The Germans need a win to assure themselves of advancing. They will win. They are the best team in the group, and must be looked upon as one of the favorites to win the Cup.

Serbia (1-0-1, 3 pts, 0 gd) The most boring team in the tournament. I hope they don't advance. Next.

Australia (0-1-1, 1 pt, -4 gd) The Socceroos (Really. That's their name.) are old, tired, and ready to be put away, but they will go down fighting. They have a sliver of a chance to advance to the knockout phase, but must beat defense-first Serbia and hope Germany blows out the Ghanaians to make up their massive goal differential deficit. Multiple goals are not likely, so a clean sheet from their stud goaltender Mark Schwarzer is vital to their hopes of advancement.

Predictions

Ghana 0-2 Germany

Australia 1-1 Serbia

Germany wins Group D, Serbia advances.

In other World Cup news, my vuvuzela arrived this afternoon. I plan on putting it to much use throughout the rest of the tournament.

6/21/10

Topic 1: The World Cup

With the conclusion of today's matches, we have arrived at the end of round 2 of the group stage. What follows are brief thoughts about each side's performance thus far, and their prospects moving forward through the competition.

Before I begin though, a brief explanation of the standings. Each team in a group plays the other three teams in that group. 3 points are awarded for a win, 1 for a draw (Yes, they still have those. Get over it.), and 0 for a loss. Once all the teams have played each other, the top two squads advance to a single-elimination tournament playoff to crown a champion. The winner of Group A faces the runner up of group B, so there is an incentive to win your group, as it affords an easier match-up in the next phase. Ties in the standings are broken by goal differential. For example, Switzerland through two matches has scored 1 goal and allowed 1 goal, so their differential is 0. Brazil has scored 5 goals and allowed 2, so their differential is +3. North Korea has scored 1 goal and conceded 9, making their differential -8. Got it? Good. If goal differential is identical, the team that has scored the most goals advances. If the number of goals scored is identical, whoever won the head to head match advances. If the head to head match ended in a draw, a coin is flipped to determine who advances (seriously). So, with that out of the way:

GROUP A

Uruguay (1-0-1, 4 pts, +3 gd) Uruguay have done themselves proud thus far, earning a draw against France before their complete implosion, and spanking south Africa, all but ending their tournament in the process. They have yet to concede a goal, and need only a draw with Mexico to win the group and probably bypass Argentina for another round. They also have wonderful uniforms.

Mexico (1-0-1, 4 pts, +2 gd) The Tricolores recovered from an uninspired showing against a hyped up South Africa (they were lucky to escape with a draw) to humiliate France and all but assure themselves a spot in the round of 16. A victory is of paramount importance in their match with Uruguay, as the three points would secure top standing in the group and spare them from facing Argentina in the round of 16. I should say here, in the interest of full disclosure, that I HATE THE MEXICAN TEAM. I hope they lose 150-0.

France (0-1-1, 1 pt, -2 gd) The French are an embarrassment. Their fans are rightly ashamed by their men's performance both on and off the pitch. That they have yet to win could be understood, if not condoned, but they barely seemed to try. The underperforming players have been openly feuding with their (incompetent) coach, resulting in one player, Nicolas Anelka, being kicked off the team mid-competition, and the rest of the team refusing to practice in protest. With a final match against South Africa still to be played, Les Bleus have a slim hope of advancement, though they justly no longer control their own destiny. They will need to hope for a non-draw between Mexico and Uruguay, and they will have to beat South Africa by a wide enough margin to make up the goal differential. Really though, you get the sense that France just want this whole thing over. I would say they were playing for pride, but they lost that several days ago.

South Africa (0-1-1, 1 pt, -3 gd) Bafana Bafana have largely performed to expectations, playing energetic but undisciplined soccer against the superior competition in their group, and so find themselves on the verge of becoming the first host in the history of the tournament to fail to advance beyond the group stage. If anything, considering the dearth of world-class talent on their roster, they ought to be quite proud of their 1-1 draw with Mexico in the tournament's opening match. They have a chance to notch a signature victory against an imploding France, and while their goal differential disadvantage is likely too great to be overcome in the event of a tiebreaker with Uruguay or Mexico, they can exit as victors over a world power, giving them momentum and making a statement going forward into the future.

Predictions

Mexico 1-0 Uruguay

France 1-2 South Africa

Mexico wins group A, Uruguay advances.

GROUP B

ARGENTINA (2-0-0, 6 pts, +4 gd) The most impressive side in the entire tournament through two matches, the Argentineans can wrap up the group against a weak Greek squad with either a win or a draw. Look for them to win handily, and look also for Lionel Messi, the best player in the world today, to score at least once. They have looked scary without Messi playing his best, and if he gets going as I suspect he will, Argentina will reach at least the semifinals. They have arguably the most talented roster in the world, and much maligned coach Diego Maradona has yet to make a significant tactical error while bringing some much-needed levity to the sidelines with his cheap suits and excitable manner.

SOUTH KOREA (1-0-1, 4 pts, -1 gd) It’s hard to get a handle on the Koreans, as they have played against a Greek team beat itself, and ran into the Argentinean buzz saw. They face a depleted and desperate Nigeria in their final group match, and can expect to advance out of the group with a win or a draw. They play very disciplined soccer, but have yet to show the flashes of quality that have marked them in past tournaments as a team to fear.

GREECE (1-0-1, 4 pts, -1 gd) Greece, after looking like the worst team in the field against South Korea, beat shorthanded Nigeria to put itself in contention to advance. To do so, they must beat mighty Argentina, likely by multiple goals. That will not happen. Regardless of that match's outcome, this tournament will be looked at in the future as at least a minor success; prior to this year, Greece had never scored in a World Cup match, let alone picked up a victory. They can console themselves with that knowledge after Argentina finishes running them off the pitch.

NIGERIA (0-0-2, 0 pts, -2 gd) The wonderfully named Super Eagles held their own in defeat to Argentina, and looked to be on their way to an easy victory over Greece before Sani Kaita momentarily lost his mind and tried to kick a Greek player in the stomach, which got him ejected with an hour left in the match. Nigeria was unable to hold their lead playing 10 men against 11, and fell 2-1. Despite the two losses, Nigeria finds itself in decent position to advance if they can defeat South Korea by more than 1 goal. Such a result, combined with the likely Argentinean victory over Greece, would put the Nigerians through on goal differential. They had better advance, for Kaita's sake; since his blunder, he has received a reported 1,000+ death threats.

Predictions

Nigeria 1-1 South Korea

Greece 0-2 Argentina

Argentina wins Group B, South Korea advances.

That's enough of that for today. Tomorrow, Groups C and D.

Topic 2: Watch this Movie!

June 17, 1994, directed by Brett Morgen

Do you remember where you were on June 17, 1994? No? Let me rephrase the question: do you remember where you were when the O.J. Simpson Bronco chase happened?

In June 17, 1994, Brett Morgen chronicles the events of the sporting world on the fateful day of O.J. Simpson's all to public fall from grace. He does this not through interviews or anecdotes, but by cutting together raw footage from the day's events in chronological order. The various pieces of footage comment back and forth on each other, drawing a compelling portrait of the day that permanently and irrevocably ended the paradigm of unquestioning hero-worship of star athletes, arguably created the "Reality TV" genre, birthed the modern gossip industry, and paved the way for all of those idiots who are "famous for being famous." More a piece of social commentary than a sports movie, the film explores the need of media to create a narrative, and what happens when that narrative is subverted in real time. Watching the normally unflappable Bob Costas and Tom Brokaw trying to reconcile the O.J. they knew as a football legend, broadcast colleague, nice guy (he was supposed to play the Terminator, but it was determined that he was "too nice" to be believable in the role) and friend with O.J. the double-murder suspect and fugitive from justice is riveting.

It's not all O.J. all the time. Even without the Bronco chase, June 17, 1994 would have been a historic day in sports. On that day, Arnold Palmer played his final round at the U.S. Open, The New York Rangers had their Stanley Cup Championship Parade (their first in over 50 years), Ken Griffey, Jr. tied Babe Ruth's Record for most home runs before June 30 with roughly two weeks to spare, the World Cup began, and the New York Knicks and Houston Rockets were playing a crucial game 5 in the NBA finals. Each a compelling event that would be worthy of a film of its own, and yet even combined, they pale in comparison to the Bronco.

In his review for avclub.com, Noel Murray sums up the experience better than I can:

June 17, 1994 is structured like a day of television as experienced by a restless channel-surfer, and yet it becomes about the different ways the media tries to hold our attention and keep our hands off the clicker, by making every moment into something we can’t afford to miss. That approach to storytelling is summed up by a reporter outside the Simpson estate, arrogantly wasting the nation’s time by muttering into his microphone, “It looks like something… is going to happen… right now.”

I would argue that behind 9/11, June 17, 1994 was the defining moment of my generation, and who wouldn't want to explore that?

June 17, 1994 airs in an encore presentation on Wednesday, June 23 on ESPN2 at 10 pm Chicago time. It only lasts an hour, and is well worth your time and attention. Watch this movie!

http://30for30.espn.com/film/june-17-1994.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxqP1_MFPnc

Topic 3: Stuff I Read or Saw That I Thought Was Interesting Today

This is the link section. The title should be fairly self-explanatory.

Politics

-Texas GOP proposes the outlawing of "sodomy" in its official platform

http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2010/06/texas-gop-platform-calls-for-making-it.html

-Huckabee '12?

http://douthat.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/21/the-secret-frontrunner/

-Not Palin '12?

http://www.amconmag.com/larison/2010/06/18/no-really-palin-has-no-political-future/

-Are Teabaggers hurting the GOP more than they're helping?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/7842229/The-Tea-Party-is-a-turn-off-for-US-moderates.html

Movies

-Armond White is wrong (mild Toy Story 3 spoilers).

http://www.nypress.com/article-21357-bored-game.html

-"I Am Love" trailer (coming soon)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZBrWVvn9xA

-"Winter's Bone" trailer (now playing)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE_X2pDRXyY