Maxwell Nominees, Pt. 5: The Golden Maxwells (Movies)

Note: As there were not enough animated films to fill the animation category, I have given the untaken slots to the drama category, because these are my awards, and nobody really cares, anyway.

Best Film, Documentary

Cropsey

Exit Through the Gift Shop

Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work

The Lottery

Mugabe and the White African

Restrepo

The Two Escobars

Waiting for Armageddon

Waiting for Superman

Winnebago Man

Best Film, Animated

Despicable Me

How to Train Your Dragon

Idiots and Angels

The Illusionist

Megamind

The Secret of Kells

Tangled

Toy Story 3

Best Film, Genre

Black Swan

Inception

Iron Man 2

Let Me In

Red

Salt

Shutter Island

Splice

The Town

Unstoppable

Film, Comedy

The Concert

Easy A

Greenberg

I Love You Phillip Morris

The Kids Are All Right

The Other Guys

Please Give

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Solitary Man

True Grit

Film, Drama

Animal Kingdom

Another Year

Blue Valentine

I Am Love

The King's Speech

Mother

A Prophet

The Social Network

The Square

Vincere

White Material

Winter’s Bone

Maxwell Nominees, Pt. 4: Actors

Best Supporting Actor, Genre

Tom Hardy, Inception

Nicolas Cage, Kick-Ass

Richard Jenkins, Let Me In

Brian Cox, Red

John Malkovich, Red

Best Supporting Actress, Genre

Barbara Hershey, Black Swan

Mila Kunis, Black Swan

Marion Cotillard, Inception

Cate Blanchett, Robin Hood

Daphne Chaneac, Splice

Best Leading Actor, Genre

Leonardo DiCaprio, Inception

Robert Downey Jr., Iron Man 2

Kodi Smit-McPhee, Let Me In

Leonardo Dicaprio, Shutter Island

Mads Mikkelsen, Valhalla Rising

Best Leading Actress, Genre

Mia Wasikowska, Alice in Wonderland

Natalie Portman, Black Swan

Cameron Diaz, Knight and Day

Angelina Jolie, Salt

Sarah Polley, Splice

Best Ensemble, Genre

Black Swan

Inception

Salt

Shutter Island

Splice

Best Supporting Actor, Comedy

Jonah Hill, Cyrus

Rhys Ifans, Greenberg

Ewan McGregor, I Love You Phillip Morris

Oliver Platt, Please Give

Matt Damon, True Grit

Best Supporting Actress, Comedy

Greta Gerwig, Greenberg

Ann Guilbert, Please Give

Rebecca Hall, Please Give

Catherine Keener, Please Give

Amanda Peet, Please Give

Best Leading Actor, Comedy

Ben Stiller, Greenberg

Jim Carrey, I Love You Phillip Morris

Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right

Michael Douglas, Solitary Man

Jeff Bridges, True Grit

Best Leading Actress, Comedy

Emma Stone, Easy A

Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right

Julianne Moore, The Kids Are All Right

Rachel McAdams, Morning Glory

Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit

Best Ensemble, Comedy

Greenberg

The Kids Are All Right

Please Give

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

True Grit

Best Supporting Actor, Drama

Ben Mendelsohn, Animal Kingdom

Christian Bale, The Fighter

Niels Arestrup, A Prophet

Michael Shannon, The Runaways

John Hawkes, Winter’s Bone

Best Supporting Actress, Drama

Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom

Lesley Manville, Another Year

Melissa Leo, The Fighter

Anne-Marie Duff, Nowhere Boy

Dale Dickey, Winter’s Bone

Best Leading Actor, Drama

Ryan Gosling, Blue Valentine

Robert Duvall, Get Low

Colin Firth, The King’s Speech

Tahar Rahim, A Prophet

Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network

Best Leading Actress, Drama

Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine

Katie Jarvis, Fish Tank

Kim Hye-ja, Mother

Giovanna Mezzogiorno, Vincere

Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone

Best Ensemble, Drama

Animal Kingdom

Another Year

The Fighter

The Social Network

Winter’s Bone

Maxwell Nominees, Pt. 3: Characters & Specialized Performances

The Silver Chewbacca (Best Sidekick)

Arthur, Inception

Eames, Inception

James Coughlin, The Town

LaBoeuf, True Grit

Teardrop, Winter’s Bone

The Silver Atticus (Best Hero)

Olive Penderghast, Easy A

Micky Ward, The Fighter

Rita O’Grady, Made in Dagenham

Mattie Ross, True Grit

Ree Dolly, Winter’s Bone

The Silver Chigurh (Best Villian)

Janine Cody, Animal Kingdom

Pope Cody, Animal Kingdom

César Luciani, A Prophet

Benito Mussolini, Vincere

Merab, Winter’s Bone

The Silver Washizu (Best Antihero)

Dicky Eklund, The Fighter

Lisbeth Salander, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Mother, Mother

Malik, A Prophet

Mark Zuckerberg, The Social Network

The Silver Mifune (For Achievement in the Field of Badassery)

Malik, A Prophet

Mark Zuckerberg, The Social Network

Mattie Ross, True Grit

One Eye, Valhalla Rising

Ree Dolly, Winter’s Bone

The Silver Cage (Most Over-the-Top Performance)

Sharlto Copely, The A-Team

Willem Dafoe, Daybreakers

Kevin Weisman, Flipped

Joaquin Phoenix, I’m Still Here

John Malkovich, Jonah Hex

The Silver Baldwin (Best Performance in a Small Role)

Eli Wallach, The Ghost Writer

Jennifer Jason-Leigh, Greenberg

Pete Postlethwaite, The Town

Dakin Matthews, True Grit

Russel A. Schalk, Winter’s Bone

The Silver Olivier (Best Monologue)

Ian McShane, 44 Inch Chest

Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom

Robert Duvall, Get Low

Sally Hawkins, Never Let Me Go

Russel A. Schalk, Winter’s Bone

The Silver Tracey/Hepburn (Best Pair)

Jim Broadbent & Ruth Sheen, Another Year

Ryan Gosling & Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine

Christian Bale & Mark Wahlberg, The Fighter

Niels Arestrup & Tahar Rahim, A Prophet

John Hawkes & Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone

Maxwell Nominees, Pt. 2: Scenes, etc.

The Silver Keitel (Best Male Nudity)

Ryan Gosling, Blue Valentine

Martin Compston, The Disappearance of Alice Creed

Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right

Sergi Lopez, Leaving

Filippo Timi, Vincere

The Silver Bardot (Best Female Nudity)

Violante Placido, The American

Amanda Seyfried, Chloe

Gemma Arterton, The Disappearance of Alice Creed

Greta Gerwig, Greenberg

Giovanna Mezzogiorno, Vincere

The Silver Bertolucci (Best Love Scene)

Black Swan

Blue Valentine

Greenberg

I Am Love

Vincere

The Silver Bruce Almighty (Most Pleasant Surprise Relative to Expectations)

The Disappearance of Alice Creed

Easy A

Exit Through the Gift Shop

Let Me In

Salt

The Silver Herzog (Greatest Ambition)

Black Swan

Exit Through the Gift Shop

Inception

A Prophet

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Silver Kurosawa (Best Action Scene)

Desert Chase, The Good the Bad the Weird

Stadium Chase, The Secret in Their Eyes

Nun Robbery, The Town

Playtime, Toy Story 3

Rooster’s Charge, True Grit

The Silver Scorsese (Best Fight)

Ward/Sanchez, The Fighter

Arthur/Projection, Inception

Stark/Whiplash at the racetrack, Iron Man 2

Malik/Prisoner, A Prophet

One Eye/Two Vikings, Valhalla Rising

The Silver Chaplin (Best Shot)

Birds Pass Overhead, The Exploding Girl

Arthur Runs Up the Hallway Wall, Incepton

Seeing the Leaves, Please Give

Sheep in Town, Sweetgrass

Child Soldiers Sleeping, White Material

The Silver Crowe (Best Use of Music in a Scene)

Without You, 44 Inch Chest

All Out of Love, Animal Kingdom

You Always Hurt the Ones You Love, Blue Valentine

Mack the Knife, A Prophet

Cherry Bomb, The Runaways

The Silver Wilder (Best Ending)

Black Swan

Inception

Mother

A Prophet

Toy Story 3

The Silver Dassin (Best Visual Scene)

Act III, Black Swan

Dancing, Fish Tank

Tasting, I Am Love

Golf Club, Mother

Incinerator, Toy Story 3

The Silver Welles (Best Dialog Scene)

Mary Meets Katie, Another Year

Birthday Party, Please Give

Break-up, The Social Network

Trading Ponies, True Grit

Asylum Interview, Vincere

Maxwell Nominees Pt. 1: The Awards of Dubious Merit

The Silver Caine (Best Performance in a Bad Movie)

Michael Caine, Harry Brown

Joaquin Phoenix, I’m Still Here

Vanessa Redgrave, Letters to Juliet

Michael Shannon, The Runaways

Michael Douglas, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

The Silver Phantom Menace (Biggest Disappointment)

44 Inch Chest

Chloe

Harry Brown

Hereafter

The Wolfman

The Silver Jar Jar (Worst Character)

Stewart, The Bounty Hunter

Clay, The Kids Are All Right

Sasha, The Kids Are All Right

Aang, The Last Airbender

Josh Randall, Love and Other Drugs

The Silver Bennifer (Worst Pair)

Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler, The Bounty Hunter

Tracy Morgan & Bruce Willis, Cop Out

Josh Brolin & Megan Fox, Jonah Hex

Christopher Egan & Amanda Seyfried, Letters to Juliet

Emily Blunt & Benicio Del Toro, The Wolfman

The Golden Keanu (Worst Performance)

Quinton Jackson, The A-Team

Gerard Butler, The Bounty Hunter

Aasif Mandvi, The Last Airbender

Dev Patel, The Last Airbender

Noah Ringer, The Last Airbender

The Golden Uwe (Worst Film)

After.Life

The Bounty Hunter

Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore

The Last Airbender

The Wolfman

I'm Back

Well, I said there would be gaps of inactivity, and six months counts as a gap, but I'm back now. Tomorrow evening, I will be posting the nominees for the 2010 Maxwell Film Awards, because I have better taste than AMPAS. Going forward, I will do my best to post something at least once every two weeks, even if it's just a collection of links.

It's good to be back.

Mad Men, Season 4, Episode 2: “You’re the kind of man who doesn’t want to take the test.”

Alan Sepinwall

I cringed mightily watching Don pull Allison to her, and then seeing her reciprocate. As I've talked about before, being Don Draper's secretary is not easy. Peggy was okay but mostly distracted by personal issues (she's a better protege than Gal Friday), Joan great but temporary, Lois a disaster, and Jane more interested in finding a Sterling Cooper partner to sleep with. We've seen with Allison - and were reminded early in this episode with Sally's letter to Santa - that she's that rare creature who can meet Don's professional needs, understand his moods and perform her demanding job with a minimum of drama (though she does understandably get choked up at the postscript to Sally's letter). Allison is probably the most functional relationship Don has in his life right now (Peggy still is a target for abuse, after all), so when Don pulled her towards the couch, I all but begged them to stop before he screwed it up.

But bad as I expected things to go, I never expected anything quite as horrible as Don's behavior the next morning, when he shocks Allison with how much their encounter didn't happen, as far as he was concerned, then hands her the envelope with her holiday bonus. Dick Whitman, who grew up with the nickname "whore-son," is so fixated on keeping his personal life walled off from his professional life that he makes Allison feel like his whore. He doesn't close the door and apologetically suggest their night together was nice but a bad idea in hindsight; he just acts like it never happened and gives her a hundred bucks, cash. And unlike some other incidents where we see that Don's weird pathology allows him to forget about the thing that he wants to erase - see, for instance, his initial confusion when Peggy asks him to repay her for the bail money from the car crash with Bobbie Barrett - his expression after a humiliated Allison leaves his office makes it abundantly clear that Don knew exactly what he was doing and feels guilty about it. Just not guilty enough to have stopped himself.

This is among the lowest things we've ever see Don do, down there with ordering Adam out of his life and saying "you people" to Sal. We understand by now Don's need to push people away at all costs, and in hindsight it's not surprising that he would treat Allison in a way that ensures she would never, ever approach him that way again, nor tell anyone else about an encounter that ultimately mortified her so. That doesn't make it any easier to watch, though, and it's a credit to Matthew Weiner (here writing the script with Tracy McMillan) and Jon Hamm that they'll take the character there, and to Alexa Allemanni's acting that we'd feel so badly for such a minor character.

Tim Goodman

Now, instead of a lonely, disillusioned kid, Glen is more aggressively odd kid. He sees Sally at a Christmas tree farm, dumps a bunch of cold, hard facts on her about divorced parents, then says he'll call her (which he does, twice, before ransacking her place with another young accomplice). Only Freud can delve into that one, but there seemed to be a lot of misplaced sexual aggression. And the same might be said - with a lot more grown-up themes like dominance - about Lee Garner Jr.'s return to Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. He did more than just flaunt his power at the office Christmas party. He turned cruel and sadistic. (Sal, you're better off wherever you are.)

"It all comes down to what I want versus what's expected of me," cites Dr. Faye Miller, the smart, beautiful researcher who understands the psychology of demographics. Don didn't really buy her psycho babble, but agreed after that line that she was right. And she certainly nailed Don in one sentence. He's always battled what he wants and what's expected of him. He can't seem to find happiness. Or, more importantly, love.

S.T. Vanarisdale

At least Peggy has some dignity. Or whatever it is you call her shielding her sexual history from handsy boyfriend Mark, whose efforts to relive Peggy of her “virginity” bear rather smug, revolting fruit later in the episode. Her nooners with Duck Phillips were so much more rewarding, interruptions via presidential assassination notwithstanding.

Her professional tangles with Freddy, meanwhile, have their own implications. They’re fairly on-the-nose, stock Mad Men gender politics — Freddy wants an aging female star for the Pond’s campaign, Peggy wants to skew the demographics younger, Freddy stereotypes (“You might get married!”), Peggy stereotypes back (“You and your old typewriters and your desperate spinsters!”) — but their resolution suggests Peggy is indeed the superior politician. That’s quite the rebound from last week, when her creative wiles gave us the infamous Sugarberry Ham Brawl of 1964.

And it’s definitely a step ahead of virtually everyone else in the office. There was no more glaring evidence than the Christmas party — I mean, did you see Lee Garner Jr. whip Roger into playing Santa Claus? Or Lane’s desperate trawl for approval when giving Lee his gift Polaroid? Or the emasculated husbands in a circle, supplemented by Don, whose plunging creds have already been established? It’s true that Joan, with Peking House on speed-dial and her fierce conga-line leadership, wields the more redoubtable authority. But in her cagey, modulated (and sure, occasionally false-modest) way, Peggy slashes through one Y-chromosome after another in her march through the Testosterone River Delta.

Keith Phipps

Mad Men doesn’t use songs accidentally and it especially doesn’t end episodes with carelessly chosen songs. It’s always puzzled me that “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” became a holiday standard. That doesn’t mean it’s not a great song. But, unlike most Christmas songs, it’s not a song for kids. In fact, it’s a song that essentially mocks kids for believing in Santa. There are probably ways to explain its lyrics to children who still believe in Santa, but they involve piling a lie on top of another lie.

A songwriter named Tommie Conner—who penned several other Christmas songs and something called “Never Do A Tango With An Eskimo”—wrote it in 1952 and a kid named Jimmy Boyd, who went on to enjoy a fairly long career in show business, recorded it that same year. It was a hit again years later for the Jackson 5, as fronted by a young Michael Jackson. But there’s another tradition of versions by grown-ups, like the sexy Ronettes version on Phil Spector’s Christmas album and the one that closes out this week’s episode. I’m not sure who’s singing the version here—maybe country singer Molly Bee—but like most versions performed by adults, it takes on a different meaning in a grown-up voice. Listening to it requires buying into the illusion of an adult singing from a child’s perspective while still recognizing that it’s not a child singing at all. It means believing an illusion and recognizing the truth at the same time.

That double consciousness must be familiar to ad execs, who have to create a fantasy to sell a product and, to some degree at least, believe that fantasy for it to work. It’s a state of mind that creeps into private lives as well.

Me

• Roger Sterling has fantastic taste in dresses.
• A bit of a reversal for Roger: after goading Joan into wearing the red dress that "makes (Joan) look like a present," he is forced by Lee Garner, Jr. to put on the red Santa Claus suit. Given what we know about the characters, it is safe to assume that there was a sexual overtone to both events, but whereas with Roger it seems playful, Lee comes off as a sadistic creep. behold the power of tone.
• Harry Crane doesn't want anybody cheating off of his personality test. Also, he LOVES cookies.
• Freddy Rumsen is back! Let the zipper chorus commence its 1964 season. Is it too much to hope for a rendition of "A Hard Day's Night?" Of course, this being Mad Men, the first thing anyone does is to offer him a drink.
• Lee Garner, Jr. is the human manifestation of the perils of having all your eggs in one basket.
• Betty might want to have "the talk" with Sally. If she doesn't, the burden of explanation is likely to be shouldered by Glen.
• The next five years are going to hit Bert Cooper like a freight train.
• I cannot wait for Sally Draper's inevitable hippie rebellion (good band name).
• "Did you enjoy the Fuhrer's birthday?" "May he live for a thousand years!"
• "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
• More Joan, please.

Mad Men, Season 4, Episode 1: "John! Marsha!"

First the real critics, then a few tangentially connected thoughts, observations, and questions from me.

Alan Sepinwall

A lot of TV series do status quo-altering season finales, then take a handful of episodes at the start of the next year to reset things to the default, and “Mad Men” could have very easily done that here. Betty has already taken Don back once and could do it again, and while the new firm lacks Kinsey and Sal and some others, enough of the familiar faces have relocated there that it could easily become, as Weiner puts it in our interview, “Sterling Cooper in a new office.”

But even though Don expertly throws Henry’s words back at him by telling him, “Believe me, Henry, everybody believes this is temporary,” it’s clear that the end of the Draper marriage, and the professional changes going on at the new firm, are permanent. “Public Relations” signals a show that’s looking forward, not back.

Tim Goodman

It could be that Don having to be so out front at the new firm - more public, less the corner office creative genius than the entire face of the company, makes him so uncomfortable he's off his game. Bert and Roger, who have been through the tough times themselves, make it very clear to Don that the Advertising Age interview was a disaster. You're the face of the company, Don. You're in the spotlight. So start dancing. And keep smiling. This, of course, is not what he's cut out for. But it's just another big change for Don. He's dealing with Betty, who's being vindictive and cold, and still living in the house they shared (which is bugging Henry, too). Work life and personal life not going great? Faux perfection that you mastermined (sic) all gone to hell? Then what does it all mean? Who are you and what are you? (Oh, and by the way, the world is shifting under your feet, incrementally...) Yeah, Don's adrift. But it's nothing some cash and a few slaps can't temporarily fix. Dark days ahead? Oh, you bet.

What also stood out is the level of Betty's bitterness, meanness and unhappiness. Now, everybody's known that was present. But in the past, Don was the easy answer to explain it all away. Now that Betty has her Dream Marriage version 2.0, what do we see? That she's a cold, perhaps unloving mother. That in under a year she's got Henry wondering what the hell he got into. But as interesting as some of that will be going forward, the bigger story here is what creator Matthew Weiner will do with Betty. She's in danger of being one-dimensionally irrelevant. Either that's a bold creative decision, or the writers need to give her something different (like Don's face-slapping, but, yes, different). She needs to either be redeemed in some small way, or her inherently unlikable nature needs to maximized in some monstrous way.

Keith Phipps

Peggy’s the person who’s changed most notably over the last year. I’m not sure which came first: the new hairstyle or the added confidence, but both are hard to miss. She drinks at work like the boys and, when asked to come up with a tagline, goes into a Don-like trance as she searches for inspiration. She bosses Joey around and tells him when he’s gone too far. And she’s not afraid to get creative to sell ham and wants credit for her idea, even if it encounters a minor disaster along the way. Most significantly, she’s standing up to Don at every turn now. He bullies her in front of her “fiancé” but hears about it later. And she provides a devastating mixture of admiration and chiding when she reminds Don that everyone at SCDP is there because of him and out of a desire to make him happy. It cuts enough that he leaves her out of the meeting, but I don’t think Peggy and Don are done sorting out the new boundaries of their relationship.

That’s a problem Don has on the homefront, too. Betty has a new life, but it’s still tangled up with his. The issue of her not leaving the house is more than a matter of convenience or wanting the best for the kids, no matter how much she protests. Despite her marriage to Henry, she’s still defining herself in relation to Don, even if now she’s mostly acting to spite him.

Stray comments from me

The 11 month jump forward to November of 1964 seems to signal the scuttling of creator Matthew Weiner's previously stated intention to do Mad Men as a 5 season show that ended in 1970.

Will we ever see Paul or Kent again? What about Sal?

Not enough Joan.

Roger Sterling continues to get all the best lines. Stunningly, his mid-life crisis marriage appears to be the most stable romantic relationship in the Mad Men universe. What were the odds on that? He's also very familiar with his client's swimsuit catalog.

Don bombed the last pitch on purpose, right?

Two Days To Go!!!

Get excited.

World Cup Final Preview

So it's finally here: the final match of the 2010 FIFA World Cup! In honor of this momentous occasion, I'm going to spare you my ramblings and instead direct you over to the best site on the internet for tactical soccer analysis, zonalmarking.net. I am pasting their preview, but you really should check out the site itself.

...Before the tournament started, if we had asked a large sample of fans what their ideal final would be to guarantee an exciting game, Holland v Spain would surely have been the most popular answer, considering Brazil’s apparent negativity and the highly-structured Argentina side Diego Maradona looked set to field. But then, by their standards, neither Holland nor Spain have played particularly attractive football so far.

Dutch pragmatism

Holland have reached their first World Cup final since the the 1970s, when they won the hearts of many football fans across the globe for their exciting, revolutionary ‘Total Football’ system. There has been much discussion about the nature of Bert van Marwijk’s current Dutch side – it certainly isn’t Total Football, but is it even typically Dutch?Raphael Honigstein wrote an interesting piece before their semi-final with Uruguay on this subject, concluding, “It’s high time the old stereotypes were ditched, regardless of the result. Dutch football itself already did it a while back. Maybe the rest of the world should follow suit.”

Even accepting Honigstein’s theory that Holland are “no more defensive than 30 years ago”, it is interesting that, for a country so rooted in the concept of individualism, they have reached the final with few top-class performances from their star players. Wesley Sneijder is the one man who is being talked about in ‘Team of the Tournament’ terms, but his goal tally, his main achievement in the tournament, has been inflated by three rather fortunate goals. He and Robben have provided a couple of good moments, but nothing like the dominant performances they showed when guiding their sides to domestic doubles and the Champions League final last season. Holland have been successful in 2010 because they’ve worked well as a unit.

Spain ‘using the Barcelona formula’

With this debate about the nature of the Holland team, it’s perfect that they come up against a Spain side who arguably display more of a classically ‘Dutch’ attitude towards football. Jonathan Wilson has this week commented that Spain are ‘essentially using the Barcelona formula’ in terms of tactics, and there is a clear crossover with Barcelona in terms of personnel too. When David Villa scored the winner against Paraguay last week, there were 7 Barcelona-owned players on the pitch at the time: Carles Puyol, Gerard Pique, Sergio Busquets, Xavi Hernandez, Andres Iniesta, Pedro Rodriguez and Villa. Another, Cesc Fabregas, has been strongly linked with a move back to the Nou Camp this summer.

But the more fascinating aspect is that seven of those eight (this time including Fabregas but excluding Villa) are players who were brought up as Barcelona players – all of them spent considerable time at La Masia, and the majority made their professional debut for the club.

The Dutch influence on Barcelona cannot be overstated – in its entire history, only four managers have been in charge of the club for more than 150 matches, and all four have been from Holland – Rinus Michels (1971-75 and 1976-78), Johan Cruyff (1988-96), Louis van Gaal (1997-2000) and Frank Rijkaard (2003-08). Nine of their 20 La Liga titles have been won under Dutch management.

Michels is possibly the most important factor to consider here. ‘He was the father of Total Football, and he carried it on at Barcelona’, as Wilson says in Inverting the Pyramid. From him, there is a clear Dutch link to the present day. Cruyff was a Barcelona player under Michels, then when he became manager, brought Rijkaard to the club. The present manager, Pep Guardiola, played under Cruyff, van Gaal, and then managed the Barcelona B team during Rijkaard’s final season, and Guardiola’s influence on Spain’s squad both as a player (Xavi, Iniesta) and as a manager (Pedro, Busquets) has been well-documented....

The final is a simple clash between two great football nations and two historical underachievers, but is also perfect in terms of footballing ideology. The history of Dutch football is a history of underachievement and disappointment. Failure once again on Sunday night would be a failure extraordinary even for the Dutch, because they would be beaten to their first World Cup by a side who have borrowed so much from their way of playing football.

WORLD CUP FINAL PREDICTION

NETHERLANDS 1-2 SPAIN in extra time.

That being said, hup Holland hup! Oranje!

Enjoy the match, and I promise to lay off the soccer for awhile after this.

Moment of Awesome

7/9/10

It's late and I'm tired so just a prediction for tonight. Actual post tomorrow.

Germany 3-1 Uruguay

Bonus prediction: Klose ties Ronaldo's lifetime world cup goals record.

7/5/10WW

World CUpdate

Be Off With You!

Brazil largely beat themselves when they lost their composure after a crtical mistake.

Ghana deserved to advance but was thwarted by the Hand of Satan and poor penalty taking.

Argentina was exposed as an inflexible, bullying fraud.

Paraguay was finally dispatched, saving the world from another 90+ minutes of negative football.

Assessing the Survivors

The Favorite

Germany: Der Mannschaft put on the performance of the tournament in the quarterfinals, steamrolling Argentina 4-0. It was a total team effort, with every man on the pitch contributing to the domination. Owing to a misgiven yellow card by the referee during the Argentina match, they will be without Thomas Muller for their semifinal tilt against Spain. However, with the way they've been playing since their wake-up call against Serbia, they should be expected to absorb his loss and roll into the final.

The Contenders

Netherlands: A combination of luck and skill saw them past self-destructive Brazil and into the semis. They continue to improve from match to match, and if they can continue to play together and sublimate the internal rivalries between teammates who don't particularly like each other, they should find themselves playing for their first ever World Cup championship. After coming so close so many times before, it may finally be their turn.

Spain: La Furia Roja have shown only flashes of the form that saw them crowned champions of Europe only two years ago. Part of this is due to the fact that Fernando Torres is clearly not all the way back from his pre-tournament injury, but it seems that the world has developed a strategy for slowing down the high powered Spanish attack. Team after team has been able to disrupt their rhythm and give them trouble by roughing them up and playing exclusively for counterattacks. That Spain have made it this far is attributable almost entriely to the sterling form displayed by David Villa, the Cup's leading scorer and arguably best player. He will need to remain in form if Spain is to have any hope of advancing past the German juggernaut and into their first ever World Cup final match.

Cinderella

Uruguay: They should not still be in the tournament, but here they are. A favorable draw, a redemptive performance from Diego Forlan, and the emergence of the now-banished luis Suarez have taken La Celeste further than anyone could have reasonably expected, but in all likelihood it ends against the Dutch.

PREDICTIONS

Uruguay 1-3 Netherlands

Germany 3-2 Spain

Moment of Awesome

7/1/10

Topic 1

Happy Birthday, Steven!

The best stepfather a person could ask for.

Topic 2

World CUpdate (See what I did there?)

Be Off With You!

South Korea needed to be as creative in the flow of the game as they were disciplined in set pieces.

U.S.A. was the best team ever to lead for less than 5 min. of total game time for an entire competition.

England was two scores away from having a legitimate complaint.

Mexico got hosed, but rather than using injustice as a rallying point, they chose to fall apart.

Slovakia never had a chance against truly elite competition.

Chile did themselves proud, but they have a long way to go before they will be ready to take down Brazil.

Japan got what they deserved for playing for a shootout rather than a goal.

Portugal learned that it is not enough to just play defense.

Assessing the Survivors

The Favorites

Brazil: The best in the world until somebody beats them. They've won the group of death and made easy work of a very strong and inspired side from Chile. Their upcoming match with Holland is a de facto semifinal.

Argentina: Blessed with a murderer's row of strikers and goalscoring midfielders (Lionel Messi, Gonzalo Higuain, Carlos Tevez, Diego Milito, Maxi Rodriguez, Sergio Aguero, and on and on and on) that makes playing defense seem quaint and almost beside the point. Wild card manager Diego Maradona has yet to take a wrong step, but the young Germans will put him and the rest of La Albiceleste to their strictest test to this point. This should be the match of the tournament.

Germany: This was supposed to be a team struggling to make the transition to a new generation of players, but Die Mannschaft apparently didn't get the memo. The trademark discipline of the old guard has meshed beautifully with the creativity and dynamism of new young stars like Mesut Ozil and Thomas Muller. They embarrassed an overmatched and underwhelming England, and their reward is to face white-hot Argentina. If anyone can break down the frenetic South Americans, it's the well-oiled Prussian machine.

The Contenders

Spain: Fernando Torres has been AWOL, and Iker Casillas has looked uncomfortable at times in goal. Both will need to show up if La Furia Roja are to fulfill their potential and reach the final. As transcendent a striker as David Villa has been, he will need help going forward. Nobody is playing prettier soccer than the Spanish with their impeccable passing game, but style alone will not take them to the promised land. They should handle Paraguay in their next match, but must raise their level of play if they want the cup.

Netherlands: They're undefeated, talented, and seem to be improving by the minute, but Oranje have yet to face a team that can ask questions of them. That willl change when they jump several classes upwards to face Brazil. If they play their best game, they can win; anything less and they'll be heading home.

The Cinderellas

Uruguay: They look good, but have faced suspect competition. It's not their fault that France chose this year to implode, or that the tournament brackets broke in their faovr to a ridiculous degree, but their good fortune doues make it difficult to evaluate them. Luis Suarez and Diego Forlan are a dynamic duo up front, and their defense has been rock solid, conceding only a single goal. Ghana should provide a stiff challenge, but La Celeste should find themselves in the semifinals for the first time since 1970.

Paraguay: Nothing fancy here. Not fun to watch, but undisputably effective, the Paraguayans have made it to the quarterfinals for the first time in their history. Their grinding, punishing, pyhsical style will be a huge contrast with the Spanish. If they can rough up the Spanish midfield enough to disrupt their flow, it is quite possible that La Albirroja can continue their historic run.

Ghana: Too angry at them to comment objectively.

PREDICTIONS

Netherlands 2-2 Brazil, Brazil advances on penalty kicks.

Uruguay 1-0 Ghana

Argentina 2-3 Germany

Paraguay 0-2 Spain

"Moment of Awesome!"

6/25/10

Topic 1

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!

You're finally old enough to ask for a senior citizen ticket without looking at me apologetically.

Topic 2: World Cup

No more in-depth predictions. By the time they're posted, the games have almost begun because of the time zone difference. Predictions will henceforth be limited to scores, with more detailed thoughts being provided on events that have already transpired. Sound good? Good.

Be Off With You! (One sentence appraisals/dismissals of eliminated teams)

South Africa are better hosts than participants, but gave a good account of themselves.

France: Merde.

Greece was the worst team to win a match.

Nigeria had all of the brawn, but none of the brains.

Slovenia did not deserve their limited success.

Algeria forgot that to win, you must occasionally try to score.

Australia played with heart after being flattened by Germany, but could not overcome being flattened.

Serbia lost to the teams it was supposed to beat.

Denmark should have gone further in a weak group.

Cameroon would be the best in the world if they got points for hitting the goalpost.

New Zealand deserved better than three draws.

Italy was the worst defending champion since Oliver McCall (they even had crying in common).

Ivory Coast: the group of death strikes again, with help from a broken arm.

North Korea never had a chance.

Switzerland needs to find a way to score goals on purpose.

Honduras needs to find a way to score goals, period.

Assessing the Survivors

The teams that remain can be divided into four groups. In order of decreasing likelihood of success, they are:

The Two Favorites

Brazil: best team in the world until someone beats them.

Argentina: arguably more talented than Brazil, with the undisputed best player in the world, Lionel Messi.

Championship Contenders

Netherlands: unbeaten, untied, and untested.

Spain: too flashy for their own good?

Germany: too mechanical for their own good?

Portugal: have yet to score against a real team.

Expecting To Advance

Chile: emerged battle-tested from the group of near-death trauma.

Uruguay: undefeated with a favorable bracket, but no longer under the radar.

Paraguay: they're solid but decidedly unspectacular, and their uniforms look like circus tents.

England: the most disappointing team to advance to this stage, they've looked awful against relatively weak competition, and they have the toughest road to the Cup of any side.

USA: the draw lines up for a potential run to the semi-finals, but they will need their quality play to match their effort and heart in order to get there.

Happy To Be Here

Mexico: would be in the above group had they not been slotted against Argentina.

Japan: after being the consensus pick to bottom their group, anything beyond this point is gravy.

South Korea: lethal from set plays, but they don't have the skill to control the flow of a match.

Slovakia: eliminated Italy, but the fun stops now.

Ghana: advanced despite never scoring a goal on anything but a penalty kick, they don't deserve to still be around.

PREDICTIONS

Uruguay 2-0 South Korea

USA 2-1 Ghana

Germany 2-2 England, Germany advances on penalty kicks

Argentina 4-1 Mexico

Netherlands 2-0 Slovakia

Brazil 3-2 Chile

Paraguay 1-1 Japan, Paraguay advances on penalty kicks

Spain 3-1 Portugal

"Moment of Awesome!"

6/24/10

Topic 1: World Cup

Results

Denmark 1-3 Japan

Netherlands 2-1 Cameroon

Netherlands wins Group E, Japan advances

Slovakia 3-2 Italy

Paraguay 0-0 New Zealand

Paraguay wins Group F, Slovakia advances.

ANALYSIS

Group G (The Group of Death)

Brazil (2-0-0, 6 pts, +3 gd) The best in the world until someone proves otherwise.

Portugal (1-1-0, 4 pts, +7 gd) They might prove otherwise, but even if they don't, they will advance to the knockout phase on the strength of their dismantling of North Korea. They are a legitimate threat to win the championship.

Ivory Coast (0-1-1, 1 pt, -2 gd) For the second World Cup in a row, the Elephants have fallen prey to the group of death. There's no shame in a loss to Brazil, and a draw with Portugal is something to be proud of, those two results will compbine to doom Drogba and company unless they can utterly destroy North Korea and get a great deal of help from a big victory by the the Brazilians.

North Korea (0-0-2, 0 pts, -8 gd) Boy, did Kim Jong-Il choose the wrong event for live uncensored broadcast, or what? Neither as good as their inspiring display against Brazil, nor as bad as their punching bag performance against Portugal, the Chollima remain a mystery. One suspects the truth of their quality runs closer to the second result than the first, which is bad news heading towards a showdown with an Ivory Coast side in desperate need of bunches of goals. losing by less than 3 should be looked on as an accomplishment.

Predictions

North Korea 1-4 Ivory Coast

Portugal 0-2 Brazil

Brazil wins Group G, Portugal advances.

Group H

Chile (2-0-0, 6 pts, +2 gd) Chile have played solidly thus far and somehow managed the near-impossible task of scoring on Switzerland. As the only team in the group that completely controls it's own destiny, The Chileans must secure at least a draw with ultratalented Spain to win the group and avoid a likely date with Brazil in the round of 16. a loss puts them potentially out of the tournament.

Spain (1-0-1, 3 pts, +1 gd) Unexpectedly inconsistent, La Furia Roja have played well in stretches, and have played the most aesthetically pleasing soccer in the tournament. They are certainly the most talented team in the group (and arguably the world), but they need to beat a very solid Chilean team to feel comfortable about their chances. The dream scenario for a soccer fan is for them and Brazil to finish in some combination of first and second in their groups, leading to the match of the Cup in the knockout round.

Switzerland (1-0-1, 3 pts, 0 gd) They need to win by multiple goals. The good news: Honduras can't score on them. The bad news: they're no offensive juggernaught themselves.

Honduras (0-0-2, 0 pts, -3 gd) The Hondurans have played to the best of their abilities, but it's clear that they don't have what it takes to compete with the best in the world.

Predictions

Switzerland 2-0 Honduras

Chile 2-3 Spain

Spain wins Group H, Switzerland advances.

"Moment of Awesome!"

6/23/10

Topic 1: World Cup

Results

Slovenia 0-1 England

U.S.A. 1-0 Algeria

U.S.A. wins Group C, England advances.

Ghana 0-1 Germany

Australia 2-1 Serbia

Germany wins Group D, Ghana advances.

ANALYSIS

Group E

Netherlands (2-0-0, 6 pts, +3 gd) The Dutch have already clinched advancement to the knockout round without breaking a sweat, or even playing anywhere near to the best of their ability. They'll have the rough equivalent of a friendly against eliminated Cameroon to work out the kinks. They are a team to watch going forward.

Japan (1-0-1, 3 pts, 0 gd) Not expected to do anything, the Japanese have played with inspiration, and find themselves on the edge of advancement. This is the best Japan has ever looked playing outside their borders.

Denmark (1-0-1, 3 pts, -1 gd) Very simple for the Danes: win or go home. Assuming they play with any sort of offensive ambition, they won't be going home just yet. While not a threat beyond the group, they should find a way to defeat Japan to take the runner-up spot in the group.

Cameroon (0-0-2, 0 pts, -2gd) My favorite team besides the Americans, The Indomitable Lions have proven quite domitable thus far. They have displayed no talent for finishing offensive chances, and do not play well together. The tournament cannot end soon enough for them.

Predictions

Denmark 1-0 Japan

Netherlands 2-1 Cameroon

Netherlands wins Group E, Denmark advances.

Group F

Paraguay (1-1-0, 4 pts, +2 gd)

Italy (0-2-0, 2 pts, 0 gd)

New Zealand (0-2-0, 2 pts, 0 gd)

Slovakia (0-1-1, 1 pt, -2 gd)

This whole group has been sleep-inducing, with the exception of Cinderella New Zealand, who followed a near-miraculous draw against Slovakia with a miraculous draw against the Italians. If they somehow find a way to defeat Paraguay, it would be most surprising advancement that I can remember. New Zealand has virtually no international pedigree on their squad, but have compensated with heart, guile, and opportunism. The end of the road most likely comes tomorrow, but the All Whites have done themselves proud.

Predictions

Slovakia 0-2 Italy

Paraguay 3-0 New Zealand

Paraguay wins Group F, Italy advances.

Topic 2: Gen. McChrystal Fired

It had to be done. As President Obama said today:

"The conduct represented in the recently published article does not meet the standard that should be set by a commanding general. It undermines the civilian control of the military that is at the core of our democratic system."

But beyond that, getting tanked in front of a reporter and talking like that shows a degree of bad judgement that would be frightening in a boss in an office setting, let alone on the battlefield. How can he be trusted to carry out orders as given when he is so openly contemptuous of his superiors?

It's not as if this is his first questionable decision, either. Prior to his promotion, Gen. McChrystal was instrumental in the initial cover-up of the friendly-fire death of Pat Tillman, and he had failed to properly police the treatment of prisoners at Camp Nama. The naked insubordination in that interview was the third strike.

As for his replacement, Gen. David Petraeus has proven himself to be an extraordinarily talented leader. Any semblance of success coming out of Iraq is directly attributable to his excellence in leading the surge and providing a window of opportunity for diplomacy and cooperation to flourish between the warring Iraqi factions. That internecine strife continues to cripple Iraq's government and other institutions is not his fault. Having snatched some tiny shred of victory from the jaws of defeat in one war, let us hope he can make lightning strike twice.

Topic 3: Another Setback

From The Daily Beast:

An accident at the site of the Gulf oil leak forced BP to remove the containment cap from the well after a robot crashed into the venting system, temporarily causing oil to gush into the Gulf once again. Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen said the collision sent gas rising through the system that carries warm water into the cap in order to prevent crystals.

I just want to scream.

Topic 4: How About Some Good News?

From msnbc.com:

Dozens of people who were blinded or otherwise suffered severe eye damage when they were splashed with caustic chemicals had their sight restored with transplants of their own stem cells — a stunning success for the burgeoning cell-therapy field, Italian researchers reported Wednesday.

The treatment worked completely in 82 of 107 eyes and partially in 14 others, with benefits lasting up to a decade so far. One man whose eyes were severely damaged more than 60 years ago now has near-normal vision.

"This is a roaring success," said ophthalmologist Dr. Ivan Schwab of the University of California, Davis, who had no role in the study — the longest and largest of its kind.

Let's end on that note of optimism, shall we?

"Moment of Awesome!"